146.pissed off

Otherwise known as 146.0 Merry Christmas!

Feeling ridiculously full after the insane breakfast spread my sister put on this morning. Bacon, eggs, pancakes, hashbrowns, fruit platter, freshly baked croissants (her husband is a baker), mushrooms, fried tomatoes, english muffins and all the condiments. I can almost feel my arteries clogging as I type. But it was soooo good. Thank God it’s only once a year.

Once again I’m suffering from gift disappointment. Don’t hate me. I absolutely know that Christmas is not about the gifts and I was so thankful to have my entire family around the table this morning but let me explain. I’ve known for a while what D was getting me. You see he was silly enough to tell my sister who in turn refused to tell me but did drop a couple of hints and because I’m psychic like that I knew instantly what it was and was instantly disappointed. The mystery gift? A Kindle. He was so proud at having come up with the idea all by himself that my sister told him that he should get it so as not to hurt his feelings. The tangled web that ensued with the intention fo trying to save his feelings from being hurt has only made it worse and ruined Christmas for the both of us.

After he asked my sister, just to be sure he asked one of my good friends. Knowing exactly how I feel about such sacrilegious devices, she told him under no circumstances should he buy me an e-reader of any kind. See I love my technology. I love my, laptop, I love my desktop,I love, love LOVE my iPhone and  I’m a photographer by trade so I love to keep up with all the latest software and gadgets in that regard so it sort of makes sense right? But do you know what else I love? BOOKS. I’m in a bookclub and can’t wait to get a new book every month. I love the way they smell, love the way they feel and love to fall asleep with a book on my chest. I’m terrified of the extinction of such simple pleasure and therefore am anti e-reader. How could a man who has lived with me and loved me for almost 10 years still get it so wrong so often? That’s what hurts me the most. But still, he’s done this before, quite a few times actually and I usually always end up telling him how I feel and he’s devastated. After receiving the negative news from my friend he was so sad. The disappointment in his eyes as he was asking me for some suggestions for my gift because he had apparently got it wrong again was horrible and I wanted to save him from that heartache. So I asked my friend to call him and tell him she’d re-evaluated the situation and that he should go ahead and buy the Kindle.

My plan was for once in my life to act happy and tell him I loved it no matter how I felt and then try my hardest to use it from time to time to make him feel good. Unfortunately not everything went according to plan. See a few days ago I was reading someone’s blog and came across a give away for the Kindle Fire. Knowing that he was supposedly getting me some new fandangled version of the Kindle that hadn’t yet been released in Australia I did some research and decided that this must be it! Top of the line colour, screen, not only an e-reader but a tablet , it was surely something I could love. I could use it to read magazines, I’m fine with that, I could put it on the kitchen bench for recipe’s instead of using my laptop. It could be my iPad without spending money on an iPad. I couldn’t justify the expense for such a frivolous want. I began to get excited about my prospective Christmas present. Fast forward to today, I’m excited that I don’t have to pretend to be happy! The kids open their presents and it’s finally my turn, I tear off the paper to find a………Kindle Touch. Black and white screen pure e-reader. I don’t know how good a job I did at hiding my disappointment. I told myself I’d learn to love it but there’s just no denying the fact that I DON’T WANT TO!. I know I sound like a spoiled brat. But I’m just so tired of getting stuff I don’t want. Why can’t the man just listen? I love him, I really do and I know he thinks he’s doing great. He thinks and plans so carefully and researches the best of the best but he doesn’t listen. To me anyway. If he did, he’d know what I want. He’d know I hated e-readers. The year I was desperate for my first DSLR he would have bought me one instead of the FUJI compact he deemed was better. The year he bought me a DVD player and an amp system for the lounge room wouldn’t have happened either. Our first year together he bought me fishing rod. This I can forgive because a. It was our first year together and b. He is a man after all and our brains are wired differently yada, yada, yada and I know that which is why I forgive him time and time again. Have I ever explained this listening concept to him? You betchya. About a thousand times. The year after the fishing rod my sister had a word in his ear and he got me jewellery! Hallefreakin’ lujah! You can’t go wrong with that. And this one time I was really sick of it so I gave him a list to buy off. I got what I wanted that year and it was wonderful. A person would think that outpouring of genuine joy in response to my gift would have clued him in for future birthday’s and Christmases but apparently not.

Sorry for the whiny bitchiness but if I didn’t get it out somewhere I might have just ended up telling him exactly how I feel. He already feels like shit because it doesn’t live up to his expectations. He went to the trouble fo getting a friend of a friend in the States to buy it and send it because he wanted one that wasn’t released in Australia yet. He was expecting something great (ie. Kindle Fire) but for some crazy reason he didnt’ research like he normally does and left it up to his friend. Guess what other Kindle isn’t yet released in Australia. Can you guess? Go on have a stab at it……….drum roll please………Kindle Touch. Nothing spectacular about it other than the fact it has a touch screen and  you can turn the pages buy touching almost anywhere on the screen. That’s it. As far as I can tell. That’s the big deal. Why the hell they are making Australia wait for that is beyond me. With the plethora of other e-readers on the market do they really think Aussies are going to rush the stores for that? For a minute I got excited at the prospect that he might send it back and get me the Fire instead but no such luck. He did offer but the gutwrenched look on his face as he did made me say no so I’m my own worst enemy. Fuck! Gift giving shouldn’t be this hard. Gift receiving certainly shouldn’t be this hard. I should just be thankful I got anything at all, but disappointment is disappointment no matter how old and wise you are and I’m not the best liar.

On the plus side. We should have a lovely family afternoon with amounts of food I don’t even want to think about while I still feel this full from breakfast and there is a keg of vodka, lime and soda with my name on it that should spark up proceedings just a tad.

Hope you get everything you dream of and more


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