I was reading this post this morning and it got me thinking about how different things motivate different people. Tina’s post saddened me because I truly cannot imagine what it must have been like to live with self hatred for so long. Although it was ultimately my disgust with myself that triggered my weight loss journey, I certainly haven’t always felt that way. Of course there have always been times that I looked in the mirror and wished things were different, I’ve never until recently looked at my body in the mirror with the self loathing that alot of people go through. Even then it was only my body that I hated. Sure I’m disappointed that I allowed myself to get to that point but I could still see that I was beautiful on the inside. I’ve never let my body dictate what I could and couldn’t do. I’ve never refused a night out/date/meal because I didn’t think I deserved it or because I was embarrassed by my size. My body despite it’s flaws has served me well and not to sound conceited but I have always loved the person I am.
I have only ever been this motivated to lose weight one other time in my life and both times it was the realisation that I no longer loved myself the way I should that sent me into this frenzy. It must take so much more strength to pick yourself up dust yourself off and force yourself to feel worthy of the commitment to lose weight. So today I am thankful for alot of things. I’m thankful, for the inner strength that’s keeping me on this path. I’m thankful that Tina and everyone like her has found the strength to love themselves and despite the million things that he didn’t give me, I’m thankful for the best gift my father ever gave me, the constant reminder that I am beautiful and can do anything I set my mind to. Thanks to him I have always believed that and if that makes me conceited then so be it. I’m happy to be that way.