123.45 Yeah Baby!

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Let me just say I did not think this possible a few days ago. Rewind to Friday when we got back from the beach. Things didn’t quite go according to plan. I did stick to my ‘only going to drink on three of the days’ rule. Food was going well until I was hung over when I went at a bowl of pasta like a woman possessed. And exercise? Was going great for one day until I twisted my knee which may or may not have been the result of falling over a log on the beach while intoxicated. So yeah, plan pretty much failed and I was terrified to step on the scales when I got home. But step on the scales I did and unfortunately they confirmed my suspicions – 126.6 – the result of a lazy week that included half a bottle of vodka, two bottles of wine, the odd sneaky Bailey’s in my coffee, a bowl of pasta, two sandwiches, two Anzac biscuits, taco’s for dinner one night, home made pies another and probably some increased portion sizes. Insane!

So how the hell did I manage to lose 3kg in three days? All I can put it down to is carb bloat. It’s insane what carbs can do. I got back literally 1.5kg’s heavier than when I left. And after two days of clean eating and one treadmill session, it’s gone and taken some more with it. Being my first real slump since I’ve started this journey, I am absolutely amazed by the effect just a few short days of letting loose can have. Not to mention the craving. OMG the cravings! Those bloody carbs take hold and don’t want to let go. But as disgusted with myself as I was when I got home, now that I’m back on track I find it more interesting than anything so see how my body reacted.

Tell me again how many servings of grains I should be eating per day?

Sugar free/grain free for life!

Well until the next time I decide to remind myself why I don’t eat them.

The picture above is one I took of the view from our hut every morning. Definitely worth waking up for. Enjoy 🙂

124.5 Holy Eyebrows Batman!

eyebrows 2 So yeah, got the old eyebrow wax and tint yesterday and the stylist went a touch overboard with the colour. Lucky I’ve got a week at the beach starting tomorrow. Plenty of time in the sand and sun means they will fade in no time. I promised myself a while ago that when I hit 125 I would treat myself to a haircut and colour (since it desperately needs it), but since I’ve got this week at the beach coming up I decided to wait and see where I stand at the end of the week and if I’m still under 125 when I get back, i’ll get it done then. Nothing like a bit of extra incentive to keep me on the straight and narrow. Not that I plan to stay completely stay on the straight and narrow. In fact I plan to drink like a fish but keep on track with the food and exercise and hope I can manage to maintain for the week. Let’s face it, I can’t be this virtuous forever and if don’t let go a bit soon my mental health is going to suffer. Luckily my dietician agrees. I know I need it and on one hand I can’t wait. On the other hand I’m terrified if I let my guard down for even a few days, old habits will start to creep back in and I will start to undo all my hard work. Add to that, I’ll be completely off the grid. No phone, no internet which means no blog outlet and most importantly, no My Fitness Pal to track my kj intake. I’ve learned enough by now to be able to gauge approx what most things are but it will be scary for a control freak like me without my safety net.

I have Dan, my sister-in-law Kylie and my step-daughter Vivienne all promising to help me keep myself in check. I just hope it’s enough to save me from myself. Man alive, never did I think I’d be so stressed about going away to relax at the beach for the week. I think I’ll be fine. I’ve come too far to let myself fall now. I know I have enough strength to get back on track as soon as I get back but that nagging little voice telling me that I might fail like every other time just won’t go away.

In other news, I seem to be developing a neck!!

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Which is awesome 🙂 It’s amazing to think that I am now 24.5kgs lighter than my heaviest weight! I can’t go back there. Not in a million years.

124.9 It’s Been A Shitty Week

Firstly thanks to everyone who thought of my little Hattie and wished me good luck. Yesterday I got an amazing and unexpected phone call. After 6 nights in hospital she was finally ready to come home. No one ever expected it and I am so grateful. It took the edge off the pain of having to euthanise my 15 year old cat the day before. After stressing all week about the dog, on Wednesday night I found my cat unable to stand so rushed him to the vet thinking he too had a tick. As it turns out, he’d had a stroke or some kind of similar neurological event and after spending the night in the humidicrib with oxygen, by morning he was completely unresponsive. He was breathing but his body temperature was so low it wasn’t reading on their thermometers and his pupils were dilated and not responding to light.  He was gone. I knew it when I cuddled him. He was just a limp shadow of his former glorious self and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

I think it’s the first time in my life I’ve ever lost weight being stressed. Probably the first time in my life I haven’t just sat on my arse and ate when I was sad. I actually experienced the lack of appetite from stress. I did make sure I got enough kj’s in that day (barely) and am thankful that I exercised in the morning before I got the news from the vet because for the rest of the day all I did was lay on the couch and cry.

Rest in peace with a million kisses my beautiful boy. Thanks for 15 years of smooches and meowing at me for food and meowing in the bathtub until I turn the tap on for you to drink and for the white fur up my nose and for scratching up my couch and for being there when I was alone.

Caspian 2000-2015

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126.65 She Made It Through The Night

But she’s not out of the woods yet. Even though she’s hanging in there, her condition has declined a bit. They generally do get worse before they get better but Hattie doesn’t have much more to give. She’s really dehydrated so the vet wants to slowly give her some fluids to try and help her a bit. The danger in that is that in her current state there’s a big risk of her getting fluid on her lungs 😦 I’m hoping against all hope there’s a smidgen of positive news when I get my update this afternoon.

On the weight loss side of things GO ME! Here have a sweaty selfie to celebrate.

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This was right after I stepped off the treadmill this morning. Not sure if I’m smiling because I’m done or because I made myself do it in the first place. It’s hard to keep going while I feel so sad. So an extra pat on the back to me for not giving up.

After my Red Arrow walk yesterday, I was expecting my quads and calves to be killing me today but they’re not!  After the last time they were sore for days, and while I definitely know they’re there, It’s certainly not an issue this time around. So even though I didn’t feel like the walk itself was any easier than the first time my body has recovered much faster.

Signing off to anxiously await the next update from the vet.

127.2 (GRRR) If You’re The Praying Kind, Please Pray For My Dog

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This is my super sweet girl Hattie. She was missing when I got home from work yesterday. I looked everywhere for her to no avail. This morning I found her in the yard paralysed. I have no idea how but she had managed to drag herself from wherever she was to somewhere I could see her. I knew the symptoms because I’ve seen them before. Diagnosis, paralysis tick 😦 I rushed her to the vet at 6.30am where they gave her a less than 50% chance of survival. She was going OK when I last checked a few hours ago and I’m waiting on them to call me with another update but even though she’s doing well, they normally go downhill in the first 24 hours after the tick has been removed so we’re not out of the woods yet. After the fight it must have taken to drag herself up the hill I hope she has the strength to pull through, so if you’re the praying kind, please say a little prayer for my Hattie. I will be devastated if she doesn’t recover.

Despite all this and my frustration at still being 127.2 ( I blame the Maltesers), I still managed to drag my ass out of the house to exercise today. Of course I didn’t feel like going through with my original plan but I knew that sitting around moping wasn’t going to help Hattie and it would only make me feel like shit.  So off I went to walk the Red Arrow which of course on minimal sleep and no breakfast nearly killed me but I felt bloody awesome when I was done. Even took myself to buy some much deserved (and needed) new underwear.

147.2 Maltesers

There has been a big packet of Maltesers in my freezer for weeks now. I bought it when the kids asked for Malteser cake for their birthday’s but then they changed their minds and the chocolate stayed in the freezer. And I’ve been resisting it for weeks. Not really caring because like I’ve said before I don’t have that much of a sweet tooth. But yesterday it was all I could think about. I tried to justify it, tried to rationalise it but of course I couldn’t. Just the same, I was eating those Maltesers come hell or high water. There was nothing I could do to stop myself. I was a force to be reckoned with.

So I took the bag out of the freezer and they were bliss. For the first few at least. Maybe even a few after that. I ended up consuming half the packet before realising I really wasn’t enjoying them any more. So I melted the rest of them down the sink and felt sick. A couple of hours later the stomach cramps began and I spent some considerable time on the toilet. So apparently my body just rejected all that sugary crap even if my mind wasn’t strong enough. Lesson learned. Then this morning, I got my period. And that, boys and girls, is enough explanation for me. Next month I’ll battle harder.